Wolf & Honey

As happy as we were
My bliss was yours and yours was mine
Control/alt/delete
If time were mine I would brutalise the universe and destroy it,
For simply one more day with you,
Happily I would dance with Kali and dash myself to pieces on her blade
Alterativley I would die by breathing out
refusing my body any air.
A tingle in my head
A song in my heart
You are myself still him self
Escaping this meat gaol
This loathsome incarceration of the body
That will not let me go.
To come join you.
Now I fear it is too late,
That you have truly gone and I hope you are in a better place,
Free from pain, from the liars, shysters, fools, the haters ,the ones that doubted our mutual dedication.
Free from violence & poor governance.
I miss you desperately and am willing to scale the proverbial pearly gates and scour the joint
Till I found you, where I could live inside your perfect kisses
My home in your heart, where I was always home
Your arms and arse my temple
Safe to worship you in view forever.
This I would do in an instant.
I tried but the world would not allow me to follow.
(I am so very sorry but I tried)
So now what? I would ask you, and then I know that the distance between is astronomical
Really, I am waiting to be at one with you.
Do I live well or are you waiting for me too?
I am exhausted but cannot sleep
When I do I dream of you I cannot see your face though I feel you.
I should on myself constantly and am lost.
If I cannot live for me I will live for you, for the Us that was,
For me still is.
You have died and I am inconsolable.
Dead on the inside and faking the days,
Waiting for death, inviting it to complete it’s job.
“always crashing in the same car”
Hurry up you boney cunt, the reaper has taken his job with enthusiasm but with little skill and even less discretion.
Surely if this had to happen there would have been enough room for us both.
As a rule I write prose in third person and with no I.
Though now a am again adolescent,
It is me me me. Us Us, I wish it was Us again as it should have always been
I love you Boo Bear & am proud to have been your Papa Bear.
within me and without you it will always be.
Death. I beg, come claim me too
XO